As Sure as the Sun

as sure as the sun will rise

and chase away the night

His mercy will not end,

-ellie holcomb 

This morning, I'm thankful that the Lord is steadfast. His love for me does not change and it is unwavering. He's the solid rock upon which I can stand even when I feel like the weight of the world will cause me to crumble into a million little pieces. He's certain and sure, even when I'm not sure where I put my car keys.

The sunrise always reminds me of His mercy and that pain doesn't last forever. When I look at a sunrise, I see hope. I see that morning overpowers the darkness and I cling to that. 

I don't know what my rambling will mean this morning, but know if you are going through a difficult season, if you feel like your sin is so heavy and weighty that you don't know how you will escape it, know, beloved, that morning will come. He gives more grace and He is ready to forgive you. The Lord is greater than sin. He overcame sin by sending His only son to die on the cross for a broken world and a broken people who should be on their way to hell. Through the blood of Christ we can be absolutely certain that He is greater than our mistakes, faults, and failures. We are going to stumble, struggle, and fight war with our flesh and with everything else in this life. But morning always reminds me that His mercies never end and we aren't consumed.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

    his mercies never come to an end;

 

they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

 

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

    “therefore I will hope in him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

    to the soul who seeks him.

 

It is good that one should wait quietly

    for the salvation of the Lord.

-Lamentations 3:22-26

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The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him; 

-Daniel 9:9

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In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance of the riches of God's grace. 

-Ephesians 1:7

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steadfastness is not a sprint.

So if you know me, you know that I am a runner. I'm one of the crazies that gets up at 5am every morning to squeeze in a "long" run before everything else of the day steals away my time. I ran a half-marathon about 4 weeks ago, and after a small injury (funny story attached to that, but we'll save that for later) and upon the recommendation of my podiatrist, I didn't run for 2 weeks. (So if you were around me during that time and I seemed on edge, blame my lack of endorphins. They make you happy, ya know...) So anyway, 2 weeks were up, I got cleared from the doc, but y'all, I literally did NOT run for the following 2 weeks. Quick math, that's 4 weeks of not running! I was content just coming home from school each day and sitting on my couch with a good book after being worn down with subbing. (Also, this teaching gig is exhausting. Next time you see a teacher, thank them. Hug their neck, because I'm convinced when they give you a license to teach, they also give you a superpower that allows you to keep on going week in and week out)

Upon the encouragement of my dear friend Laura, and a group that meets in my town to run on a regular basis, this past week I started again. We ran 3 miles each morning for 3 days in a row. That's 9 miles more than I'd run since 4 weeks ago! Struggling was an understatement. It was rough, but I kept on trucking.

So here I am this morning, sitting down with my cup of coffee and bible, just praying and evaluating my walk with the Lord and connecting it to my everyday life. (I heart analogies) So I think about the fact that 4 weeks ago, I could run 13.1 miles. It sure wasn't easy, it took months of training and discipline, but the end goal was crossing that finish line. Fast forward 4 weeks, to where running 3 miles gives me cramps. How did I go from 13.1 to barley 3 in 4 weeks? A lack of discipline. I chose to sit on the couch, sleep in, etc instead of getting up to run.

Here comes the conviction. How much is that relevant to my walk with Christ? It seems pretty basic, but how much am I going to grow in my walk with the Lord if I am not disciplined enough to spend time with Him each day?! Just like any relationship--it does not grow without some sort of time investment. My investments have been elsewhere for so long, and it is not until as of recent that I can see that with clear eyes. Here's a question that I say with 4 fingers pointed back at myself: If we are serious about growing in our walk with Christ, if we desire that in our lives, where are we investing our time? At one point in college, I struggled with time management. I could not for anything in me figure out where all of my time went, so I wrote it down. I literally wrote down what I did all day and saw where I was investing the majority of my time. Then I was able to look at the list and see that certain things could be eliminated, giving me more time to spend in the Word or praying.

Steadfastness in our walk with Christ is not a sprint. We can't wake up one day, expect to read a Psalms or a chapter out of Colossians and expect to be where we need to be in growing in our likeness of Him. Like running, it is most certainly a process. If we are followers of Christ, our main goal in this life is to grow in the likeness of Him and to glorify the One who sacrificed his only Son as the atonement for our sins. We can't go to bed a sinner and wake up a saint. Sanctification doesn't work that way. It's a process and it takes small, but disciplined and obedient steps each day.

Every time I sit down long enough to be quiet before the Lord, I am overwhelmed with my sinfulness. I am reminded that if I am seriously striving to live a life worthy of Christ, I absolutely-no-way-cannot do it on my own. I need Him. I need time with Him each day. Beloved, it is so precious. So dear. So now I'm praying each day to have the desire to do this and not just write about it on here.

Being a Christian isn't an easy haul. It's hard sometimes. There are seasons when my sin seems so great and I'm overwhelmed and the Lord reminds me of grace, forgiveness, and redemption through the cross. Praise the One that paid my debt!

Be encouraged. This walk with Christ is not a sprint. It's a dadgum race where some days we can barely move our feet, but we do. We go to the One who knit us together and ask Him to be merciful to us, teach us, and use us for His glory. And I'm thankful that even though I'm a sinner sinner sinner, he gives more grace. Praise Him.

--Rach

we all fall down.

(written 7-13-13, revised 5-7-14)

Here's the story.

Last night, at home, I was helping Allison fix her plate in the kitchen. Mexican chicken, corn, and fried squash in hand, she began to feebly walk into the living room. As I'm walking and eating my own ear of corn, Allison lost her balance. And then all of a sudden, it was seriously like a movie. She goes falling to the ground, food flying in mid-air, and no one can move fast enough to catch her fall. On her way down, she knocks a candle to the ground, which shattered immediatley. She hit our hardwood floors with a thud, followed by immediate tears.

And I just stood there. Staring at the broken glass, staring at the food splattered on the ground, and staring at my family, dealing with the current situation.

There was food and glass everywhere, Allison was crying, and Mom was overly apologetic for not being superwoman enough to catch her from across the room. It was a scene from a reality television show, except, it was just another night on Truman Street.

By the grace of God, (in all seriousness) Allison was okay.

Because I do my best thinking at night, when I should be asleep, I analyzed the whole situation. If you know me at all, you know this is nothing out of the ordinary. I'm over-analytical in every area of life. (You have been warned.)

So I'm wrestling with God, thinking, praying, and wondering in the mess of this life, how everything is going to fit. How my baby sister, full of ailments, currently on the mend from a fall, fits into His glory-seeking plan. How He can be glorified when things break, and we fall, and everything we know comes crashing down. So I pray even harder for wisdom, and answers, and something to help me sleep at night.

You know what I get? As clear as day, I hear Him say, "Wait."

So I recall Psalm 18:19 that says, "He rescued me because He delights in me."

And as tears fill my eyes, I know that His plan is good. The Lord isn't just winging it. He's got this whole life mapped out to glorify himself, and give those that call him Father the opportunity to grow in the likeness of Him.

It's no secret that I've got sin in my life. I'm walking through a season of life when I feel like I keep falling, my good intentions go flying in the air, and everything around me comes crashing down. Unlike my mom, who was unable on her own strength to rescue Allison from the fall, I know the Lord is faithful to rescue me. Not saying my mom can't rescue, but the difference is that the Lord allows the fall. He allows things in our lives and I pray that when I am crashing down, He is using the pieces to make me look more like Himself.

Praise the One who catches us when we fall, who is not surprised by anything in this life, and who loves us even when we don't understand his blueprint for life.

But I'll be patient and trust in a loving Father who  has never failed me.

His, Rach

when I am weak.

That word has been spinning around in my mind a lot lately. 

weak. 
weak.
weak.

For most, that word means one thing - failure, insufficiency, lack of strength, whatever. For me it means I've got a tornado of laundry in my room, my bathroom is disgusting, I haven't changed my calendar with due dates in 2 weeks, I haven't taken a shower and it's 3pm, I've got enough homework for a small army, and the last thing I want to do is cry about it. Because that shows that I'm weak. It shows that I can't handle my own life. 

Being weak is hard for me, I'm just going to be real. I have a pretty hard time laying my emotions out on the table for people in my life, because I feel like my emotions are a burden. I don't want to be a problem to anyone. I definitely don't want them to give me a sideways glance towards the nearest shrienk as I lay my emotional over thought problems out on the table. So, as a rule of thumb, I just generally don't talk about it to people around me. Bad? Probably so. As a christian, however, it is one of the most exhilarating things in the entire world to sit on my couch, sob, and tell the Creator of the Universe every stupid little thing going on in my life. To sit at His feet and know that He is proven strong when I am at my weakest. To know that he cares about every little detail of my heart, including the stupid things like the fact that overcooking chicken made me feel inadequate as a woman. God cares! He fashioned me. He stinking knows every fabric of my life and soul! Yes! He cares about overcooked chicken, endless amounts of laundry, school work that seems to have no end, and my desperate, desperate need to be near Him when I crumble underneath it all. 

Praise Him who holds me close when I crumble. 

So whether it was Grey's Anatomy induced or a build up of all these things, I cried. I can blame it on the dramatic love saga between people that aren't even real, or I can be honest and say I'd just had enough of myself. To sit and pray and say, "Lord I am weak and needy and so desperate for you grace." And know that He heard it, loves me, shows me grace, and gets the glory because He is made so much bigger than me. 

There's something absolutely freeing about it, let me tell you. 

I've been negligent of my first love, and for myself personally, I know I come to a point where I am spiritually dry. In need of water that satisfies not for a short amount of time, but quenches. I need the living water that comforts my insecurities, doubts, fears, and worries. The living water that is greater than my tears, sin, and inadequacy. 

Because let's be real, sin brought me here. I'm such a sinner, in need of a loving and graceful Savior. 

May I never, ever, ever forget that the Lord forgives. He is my redeemer, and He can handle my weakness. He knows my weakness, and He knows when I stray. 

This has been my comfort food the past few days.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. -2 Corinthans 12:9 

--Rach.